There’s a Conversation About Bachelorette Parties That We’re Just Not Having

micGaining control by letting loose: Bachelor parties, historically, were seen as a “final temptation” for the groom to ensure his commitment to the bride. So bachelorette parties often have to account for society’s disparate attitudes toward male and female sexuality. Societally, women simply don’t have the same sexual freedom men have, meaning the “final temptation” angle isn’t quite as assumed — which makes the reasoning behind hiring a sex worker at a bachelorette party all the more intriguing, and novel.

It also means male strippers are often performing for a roomful of novices, some of whom might never have been given the opportunity to be sexually aggressive or even discover what it is they want. For those women, a bachelorette party might be a first chance to engage with certain fantasies — and they tend to be the ones who enjoy the experience most.

“Women from more sexually repressed communities tend to get more excited,” Silk, a 29-year-old male dancer at the Las Vegas-based strip company Wild Boyz, told Mic. “Small-town women tend to be more excitable. They get very impressed with a lot of small things they don’t see often.”

Silk said these women tend to view bachelorette parties as “an opportunity to let loose, to be in an environment where it’s OK to do whatever they’re doing,” which can include taking a more assertive role sexually than they ever have before. But that’s not the case for everyone.

“Most girls, wherever they come from, don’t have the same sexual experiences as their boyfriends and husbands,” Steve Kim, the owner of Wild Boyz who says he’s performed at more than 1,000 bachelorette parties male revue shows, told Mic. “Think about how suppressed women are. It’s not acceptable for a woman to come onto a guy. Guys can catcall and be aggressive, and girls can never be the same way. At a bachelorette party, everything goes.”

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